I am happily moving forward these days. After supporting myself with drugs I have finally had the energy, both mental and physical, to focus on those things I care about. I began that journey about a year ago (I talk about it in this post) and find myself relaxing more and being anxious less. Without really thinking about it I am finishing projects I had started years ago. I meet up with friends more often and I don't worry about so many things. And my blood pressure did go down. All good.
One misconception I had about taking an anti-depressant was that it would help me feel more comfortable with group activities. I don't do well with crowds. However that didn't seem to change. What did change was my ability to face that honestly and decline if I felt like it. I was much less defensive about it and understood that some things are just not good for me to do. Besides when you are over fifty you can say "no" if you want to, right?
When I originally spoke to my doctor about taking an anti-depressant I really felt that my blood pressure (which was becoming a concern) was being affected by my anxiety. We also spoke about how losing weight might be beneficial, too. I took the pills and it made a difference but I never focused on the weight. My blood pressure went down to almost normal but not what it had been before I was diagnosed with cancer. At that time my BP was dead normal. Just this past February I was chatting with a friend about how beneficial this drug had been and I realized I let a whole year go by without even thinking about a diet plan. The next morning I signed up on-line for Weight Watchers.
Weigh Watchers and I go way back. I did a little math and discovered that I return to them at regular intervals. My first time was at the age of sixteen. Yes I was a chubby adolescent. Imagine dieting in high school? Yeah, not so fun. But I did it and it worked, for about sixteen years. In my almost middle thirties I went back. Didn't need to lose quite so much this time and ended the diet with a wedding, my own. Now, about eighteen years later it's time again.
Somewhere along the line I have learned discipline. In three months I have lost twenty pounds. I never lost that fast before! I love the on-line program and its point system. I saw my doctor recently and my BP was dead normal this time. Whodda thunk it! I figured post-baby, post-menopause I was doomed to struggle for every ounce and balance the diet with lots more exercise than I ever wanted to do. But I was wrong. I get out for my regular walks but don't do much more than that. My family has been very tolerant of the adjustments I've made in cooking. Lucky for them we still eat pretty much the same food. I feel so lucky! I know that it is yet another benefit of reducing my anxiety and allowing me to use my energy in much more productive ways.
That's all I wanted to say about the weight loss. There is nothing more boring than listening to a middle-age woman go on and on about it. I feel better, that's what is important. And I took care of a potential health problem before it became one.
The biggest thing I have gained over the last year is an increase in my self-confidence and less worry about the future. Not bad. I only wish I'd started taking anti-depressants earlier!
You are doing such a great job on taking care of yourself first now! I am really proud of you. :)
Posted by: Tammy | May 16, 2010 at 01:31 PM