It's been a year, my goodness, since I had anything worth saying. Hunkering down to cope with the aftermath of a parent's death takes work. I know, I've done it twice. This year has brought all kinds of new things into our household and not all of them were negative and a result of loss. Some were gains and just plain new experiences. We are doing well and moving forward better than ever. Let me bring you up to date with some of the more notable changes.
After my husband's mother died it was a long hard spring and summer for her husband. They had just moved from their beach home on the coast to a cramped dark apartment when my mother-in-law became suddenly quite ill and died. Too many belongings kept the Mr. busy finding consignment shops to sell them in. He struggled with knee problems so watching this guy work his way around town was a little painful. It was also a way for him to review his life with his wife quietly and on his own. Some of their furniture fit the albatross category and no one wanted to buy it from him. So the last bits went to the Salvation Army. Then he moved back to the home on the coast the day after Christmas. I was happy for him. Spring has truly been a renewal for him. He loves to garden and to be back in the same plot of ground he has lavished with attention for almost two decades is a blessing in many ways. I see some months of finally being able to heal a little from the loss of his companion of over fifty years. I'm so glad they never sold that house.
Not quite a year before all of this my husband's sister moved nearby. She suffered a severe aneurism at the same time I was undergoing cancer treatment. She took up residency in an assisted living facility near our home. The adjustment had been interesting to watch. She jumped at the opportunity for greater freedom and autonomy but not so much to establish close relationships with her family. She left her three adult children behind in the midwest where she had lived for many years before this medical situation. She missed them quite a bit. She made friends in this facility. But one became more important than the rest. Due to an unfortunate memory problem this fellow broke an important rule in the facility and was asked to leave. My sister-in-law was not about to be left behind so with all of us watching in stunned silence she organized a move to a nearby retirement home. Well, not exactly silence. There was an intervention called by two of her children and we made our feelings known but all to no avail. That said, she does not seem to have suffered. Part of me cheers her on for her daring.
The last thing I will add to this post (more will follow, I promise) is the employment scare of 2009. My husband works in a volatile industry. We live in a part of the country that never seems to quite climb out of the recessions that occur. And his company was not doing very well in the market. So when a bigger more successful company bought his company fears ran high among all the employees that the end was near. Fortunately most were spared . . . this year. We were able to breathe a sigh of relief. The status quo can be maintained for a while. Now they just have to show that they are a viable concern to the new company!
I have more to share about myself and what I've been doing over the last year. Until then . . . stay well.
It's so nice to see/hear an update from you. I miss you lots.
Posted by: Tammy | April 28, 2010 at 11:38 AM